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[darkestbefore]

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[futhark]

[ It's... always strange to spring that part of his existence on those close to him. It rarely comes up, if ever. But with his Bonded, he wants to come in a clear. But then that means moments like these— of shock, and surprise, and well... many more feelings.

He lives his life well, and despite how it ended... he does not regret. But some parts of being alive again here remain strange to understand and... disconnecting.

Cú lets her mull, process, and think. All the time she needs. And when the question comes ]

In the broadest of strokes— yes. Being more specific— he didn't choose this path himself. The woman who killed me did it.

[ He'd rather not ruminate about Medb, but the truth is after he saw Berserker, part of him started to regret not killing her. It's all a bundle of complicated nerves and ideas there. ]

A queen that waged war against my king. I rejected her, and she never forgave that offense. Someplace else... sometime else... she was brought back and given the power to make one of her wishes come true. So she made a "me" that would be her "king"

[ This all sounds like a fairy tale ]

modranicht

[sonnestark]

[Karin's gift comes in a small box wrapped in glossy white paper with brilliant red ribbon, and is found resting inside Yona's mailbox on top of a moderately-sized white bakery box. Inside is a bracelet designed to look like sakura blossoms, along with a matching hair ornament. Inside the bakery box are an assortment of spiced cookies— mostly ginger— all of which are generously glazed.]

Yona,

Happy Modranicht! I saw these and thought of you; they reminded me of the cookies we shared not long after my arrival that you said reminded you of home. The cookies I sent are lebkuchen, which are a seasonal favorite where I come from. I hope you enjoy! May the new year bring great things for you.

- Karin

[darkestbefore]

[ Yona just takes a moment to blink at him, even as she tried to come to terms with the ramifications of that. ]

My. [ She speaks after a moment, her tone a hint droll - if only to give her time to think on that complication. ] You do certainly leave an impression on people, don't you?

[futhark]

[ Momentarily he blinks, before he connects the dots— and then he sighs shaking his head ]

It's not like this. [ The rejection implies romantic one, he could have worded that better ] Medb operates on two extremes, people are supposed to either love her or hate her. I refused to kill her, but not because I fell for her. I was just tired— [ of all the war and death ] —and wanted her to leave and never come back.

[ He didn't hate her back then. He's not sure if he hates her now, as evident by the confused subdued discomfort whenever her names show up. However, he's pretty sure Berserker does hate her, so she succeeded in getting one or the other from him ]

That was the rejection she couldn't accept

[darkestbefore]

[ Her head cocked to the side as she studies him. Studies those emotions she gets from their shared Bond. Reaching out, she brushes her fingers over the back of his hand, the touch light but understanding. ]

I can imagine apathy would have been a grave insult indeed. It's far colder than either love or hate. An emptiness there's no way of filling. So she sought her revenge by bringing a part of you back. To alter what she could not accept.

1/2

[futhark]

[ ..."colder than either love or hate".

He never looked at it this way. He never truly considered why it was considered an offense, he just lived on, as long as he could, fighting off her attempts at revenge.

So in this weird moment of clarity, everything falls together. Not just regarding his long ended life, but his life here, and connection to the man he was just trying to give a brief description of. It's upsetting, distressing even, this sudden realization that this apathy Berserker always displayed is something not specific to his altered form. It has always been there. After Ferdiad's death, Laeg scolded him for mourning publicly their enemy, so he learned the lesson and had no tears to spare after killing his own son.

Berserker might have resented him for having the positive emotions he thought he no longer had. But Caster... for all this time, looked at him and suppressed the question "am I going to end like this one day?" If he lived longer, would he end like this? Is this why the very idea of living again is so pointless to him?

——it's all a goddamn mess in his head right now, and it is also not a burden any of his Bonded should be made aware of. He cannot put that on them. So with a deep breath, he makes use of that apathy. Smoothing out the waves of the sudden emotions rushing through him. Dampening them from storm to a cold breeze. ]

You speak the truth. [ One that he never looked that closely on ]

2/2

[futhark]

[ Acting normal isn't something that he can just do, since being an actor isn't really his strong suit. So it all comes serious rather than casual. And distant ]

That man is not my enemy. We're allies now, but accidental comparisons or mistakes can happen and they don't always go well. I never intended to keep it away from you, I just couldn't figure out a good moment to bring it up.

[ I'm not that different than him is at the end of his tongue, but he doesn't allow it to be spoken. ]

backdated to Modranicht

[zewu_jun]

[Xichen leaves a package carefully wrapped in brightly printed cloth, tied and adorned with a little sprig of mistletoe that he picked up on his trip around the city. He might miss the deeper significance of that, or he just might be giving it to her as a gift to share with a loved one later... who can say? Inside the parcel is another leather-wrapped bundle full of hand-fletched arrows. The feathers he obtained on hunting trips in the Wilde, and he does remember Yona's skill. With the arrows lies a white winter cloak with fur lining the edges. The inside has many hand-embroidered animals hidden in the folds like delicate thread constellations. Pale blue and silver, they can be difficult to spot at times, but that's the fun of it. As well as guessing what creatures they might be. Some are more skillfully made than others... practice makes perfect? The gifts include a simple note:]

I hope you will be able to make use of these. I send them along with warm greetings and thanks for your kindness. Lan Xichen hopes they serve you well.

voice, post event

[clickclickbang]

[Ring ring ring!]

Yona?

[darkestbefore]

Prompto!

[ Her delight at hearing his voice is evident even with only her voice coming through the connection, although she quickly turns more serious, not having expected his call. ]

How are you? Is everything alright?

[clickclickbang]

Oh, yeah, I'm fine. I'm calling to see how you're doing.

[darkestbefore]

Me?

[ She sounds startled by the question, and a little uncertain as to why he's asking. ]

I... I'm doing alright, I think? Why?

[clickclickbang]

Weren't you one of the people who went into that hellhole the other day?

[darkestbefore]

Well, yes, but I wasn't one of the ones held captive by them.

[ Which made a world of difference but did little to dim the horrors she'd witnessed that night.

Even now, her breath hitches softly as she closes her eyes, a shudder slipping down her spine. ]

It was horrible. I don't think I've ever seen anything so...

[clickclickbang]

Yeah. [A soft sigh.] Yeah, I bet. That's why I'm checking on you--I know that stuff's kinda...terrible.

[darkestbefore]

Are you okay? [ She knows she'd asked that before, but after the tone in his voice at that last comment, she feels the need to ask again. ] You weren't there were you?

[ She hoped not. For his sake. ]

[clickclickbang]

Oh, no, thankfully. I just stayed back to help with recovery and stuff. I just...long story.

[darkestbefore]

I'm glad. [ Her voice is quiet and soft. ] You shouldn't have to see things like that.

[ Is she a little protective of her gentle, sunny friend? Yes, very. ]

[clickclickbang]

[Softly:] Little late for that uh...

[Louder:] Uh, anyway! You hungry? There's a bar near my place doing a special.

[darkestbefore]

[ She heard that little aside, but for the moment, she lets herself be distracted by that invitation instead. ]

A special? Ahh, yes, I could eat! Would you like me to meet you there?

[clickclickbang]

Sure! My tre--oh, yeah, d'you drink? They have other stuff, obviously, but if you don't wanna be around people drinking we can take it somewhere else.

[darkestbefore]

[ She gives a soft laugh at that. ]

I don't mind drinking. Caster is very fond of a place down by the docks that we go to sometimes. [ And that is on a whole different level from the taverns she'd visited back home on her travels. ] It will be fun to try somewhere new.

[clickclickbang]

Cool, because this place has some really cool looking drinks and one that is the pinkest thing I've ever seen. You've gotta see it, Yona, it's more pink than your hair!

[darkestbefore]

[ That has her laughing more now. ]

My hair is red, thank you. But I will happily try a very pink drink. When would you like to meet?

[clickclickbang]

Red, sorry!

[It's totally pink.]

An hour? I gotta feed Prim.